Booth's girlfriend demolition plan
by ripmaflrp
Summary: Season 6 SPOILERS! I already hate his girlfriend...haha :D   self-explanitory title..
1. The Hiding Place

a/n: SPOLIER ALERT: This thing has sooooo many spoilers! So if your extremely queasy about them, turn back now!

This is angsty. Or at least this chapter is. I promise to put humour in it!

* * *

Brennan was sitting at her computer working on the outline for her next novel when she was startled out of her muse by Parker's running footsteps through the lab and his shout of " Dr. Bones!" She immediately knew she wouldn't get much more work done, so she managed to save the work she had already done and close her laptop just as Parker had bounded through her door, shutting and turning the bolt as quickly as he could after him. She quickly grabbed her keys and locked door just before pulling all the blinds across the glass wall closed. Parker had already turned on her table lamp and was working his way over to the bigger lamps when she stopped him.

"We don't want anyone to see the light through the blinds, plus it's light enough right now. Grab your backpack and head over to our secret hiding spot while I send Angela a text." Brennan said. Parker willingly obeyed and grabbed his bag before going over to the far corner of the room, slipping between two bookcases into the part of her office that only Brennan, Parker, Angela, and Hodgins knew about. She had purposely moved the bookcases up by about 4 feet when she first started working at the Jeffersonian, making her office seem perfectly square instead of the strange octagon it was. She sent a text to Angela saying 'if booth asks, I went to lunch' before stuffing her phone into her pocket and joining Parker behind the bookcases. Before Brennan could even say anything, Parker had answered her unspoken question.

"They brought me here because they thought I would like to see the space exhibit. But then Dad got a phone call from Mom and left me with Vanessa, so I slipped away while she was trying to read me something from a plaque about the moon. I wonder how long it will be before she realizes I'm gone and panics?"

At the mention of Vanessa, Brennan wrapped her arms around herself. 7 months after she left for Maluku, Booth left for Afghanistan, and Hodgins left for Paris with Angela for a year, they all had to return to D.C. to help Cam save her job from the media. She had a controversial body to examine and the media almost ripped her to pieces for information and the body itself before she sent an SOS out to the team calling everyone back. They managed to save her, but instead of everyone going back to their respective corners of the world for 5 more months, they decided to stay put in D.C. But then Booth revealed to everyone that he met someone, a reporter he said, who had signed onto his regiment. She would join him in D.C. because they wanted to give a relationship between them a chance. Shortly after her arrival, Gormogon's apprentice, the one who actually did kill the man everyone thought Zack killed, resurfaced and made his presence known to the team by killing one of their beloved interns. But in this act, Zack was found to be innocent of murder so he was set free from the looney bin and got his job as a forensic anthropologist back at the Jeffersonian. That was Brennan's one joy these days, besides her growing relationship with Parker.  
Parker and Brennan hated Vanessa. She was mean and unfeeling to Parker, and constantly tried to get the 'inside scoop' from Brennan. Brennan, unlike Booth, wouldn't let her have it, which set her on bad terms with Vanessa. And that only doubled when Parker revealed to Brennan on how he dreaded spending time with his dad because he knew Vanessa would be there.

'Vanessa takes the fun from everything,' Parker had told her one day. 'All she wants to do is spend alone time with Dad, and she doesn't let me ever get to spend time with him! Mom even noticed, and she said something to Vanessa about it but Vanessa pulled her to somewhere where they could talk privately. Mom then took me away and almost didn't let me be able to see Dad anymore, but he begged to be able to see me.'

Brennan knew this was a slight exaggeration, Sundays were reserved for Booth and Parker as well as most of the moments when Vanessa was at work. But as for not being able to go to his Dad's house, that was actually just being able to go to his Dad's once a month. Little did Parker know that Booth actually had no part in his being able to be with his Dad more than 12 times a year, Brennan had met with Rebecca one day to discuss a college savings account for Parker when she had learned of Parker not going to his dad's house as often as usual. Rebecca agreed to let Parker come over more often just so that Parker could sneak out from Booth's apartment and take a public bus to the Jeffersonian where he would hang out with Brennan until about 3 in the morning. That's when Brennan showed Parker the hidden space and they agreed to use that area incase Parker ever came to the Jeffersonian with his dad and wanted to get away. Parker began to look forward to going to his dad's house just so that he could visit Brennan. Not that Parker didn't still like his dad, he just didn't get to have fun with him anymore. Brennan let him have fun.

Soon enough Brennan's phone was ringing with a frantic call from Booth explaining how Parker was lost in the Jeffersonian again. Brennan told him she was at lunch and that Parker knew the Jeffersonian well, he couldn't get lost and probably just wandered off. She told him to check with a nice security guard who made friends with Parker over a dinosaur exhibit one day before hanging up and urging Parker downstairs to the dinosaur exhibit and security guard before his father got there.


	2. The Hobby

Hi. I dont know what to put here so I'm writing this. Ummmmmm THANK YOU! to anyone who read this and liked it! It made me happy :D And I am going to try my hardest to write whenever I can; I already know how I am going to end this it's just the middle part that I need to start thinking about. I'll try to write some after this is posted.

And to Lyndie (since you either weren't logged into your account or don't have one): hahaha thnx for the advice, I think I will use it. and thank you for the review!

btw: to everyone else, ideas for the middle part are cool. if you have anything you want to see or think should happen, just tell me and I'll see if I like it and can fit it in with the ending I'm planning for. lol I love my ending idea :) hehehehehe

* * *

Angela was a happy person. She was married to the love of her life, the team was back together after only 7 months, and Zack was back. The (hopefully) last Gormogon apprentice was gone leaving everyone cannibal-free for the moment. Her dad hadn't killed Hodgins for anything yet, which is always a plus. She got to see Parker a lot more often, plus she had a new hobby. But then she got a text from Brennan that may have said 'gone to lunch' but instead (in her mind) screamed 'me and my true love's son are both hiding like Jews in the back of my office from Booth and his Nazi girlfriend, so if they come up here please cover for me!'

Angela was an angry person. First, Booth brought back a 'plus one' from Afghanistan, further proving his stupidity in all relationships concerning romance. Especially if the word 'romance' had the words 'with Brennan' after them. Second, one of the interns was killed by Gormogon's apprentice. Sure, it led the team right to the freaky dude but Angela was going to miss the poor soul who was killed. Third, Booth didn't spend time well, because any time spent with the 'plus one' is time not well spent. Plus, Angela had a new hobby.

Her hobby was simple; ruin Vanessa's life until she retreated back to New York while simultaneously severing Booth's relationship with her and trying to get Booth and Brennan together. Her methods of carrying this out were as follows; stalk Vanessa to learn her patterns and use them to set complications for Vanessa, break into Booth's house to steal Vanessa's stuff, constantly pester Booth about his relationships, and use Hodgins' money in the most anti-Vanessa ways possible. So basically, give Vanessa horrible days in Washington D.C. So far Angela had put green hair dye in both Vanessa's shampoo and conditioner, had stolen all of Vanessa's jewelry except the cheap stuff (she might as well use her dad's badass persona genes for a good cause), had given Vanessa a flat tire which stranded her at work, had stolen Vanessa's cell phone battery during the 'accidental' flat tire, had re-routed Vanessa's airplane luggage, and had thrown a banana from long-range straight into Vanessa's face while she was trying to entertain Parker (who had ran off to Brennan's office moments earlier) by reading a space exhibit plaque. Oh, the joys of stalking Booth's girlfriends.

Her goal was simple; ruin Vanessa's D.C. life without doing anything too bad to her that she gains sympathy or anything more than annoyance from Booth, send Vanessa back to NYC, and get Booth and Brennan as a serious, long-term couple. She had Jack's help, so she could and would do this.

As Angela was thinking all this, Vanessa's scum bag boss walked into the front doors of the Jeffersonian looking for Brennan so that he could try to get information out of her about the latest case. Angela smiled as she thought, "Oh look, there's Vanessa's boss here to try to talk to Brennan. Too bad she's at lunch. I guess he will just have to settle for me. Too bad for him, he will learn about Vanessa's former non-platonic relationships with her bosses instead of a cannibal."

Oh yes, she would definitely enjoy her new hobby.

* * *

Vanessa Smith wasn't having too good of a month. She found out her extremely hot boyfriend had a kid and that his partner was beautiful. She could care less about them though, they mostly had nothing to do with her. She just didn't like Seeley's attention to be on other people. What she really cared about what the streak of bad luck she seemed to be having ever since she arrived in D.C.

First, the airport lost her baggage. They finally found it 2 weeks later in Africa with no idea of how it got there. Second, all her valuable jewelry was stolen. Who cares, it just belonged to her old, ugly grandmother, she didn't even wear it. She was just mad that she couldn't sell it. Thirdly, her hair seemed to be slowly turning a shade of green. The worst shade of green that everyone says reminds them of poop. It was permanent too, no matter what kind of hair products she used it wouldn't wash out. Fourth, her boss kept making passes at her. It's not like she's never had a relationship with her bosses before (infact, a relationship with her boss in NY was how she signed onto the regiment as a journalist; meeting Booth, the partner of the famous Doctor Temperance Brennan was just a plus; charming him into inviting her to live with him was the goal) but if she was going to squeeze information out of Temperance Brennan and her coworkers so she could become the best journalist the USA had ever seen, she had to upkeep her relationship with Booth.

The little brat kept getting in her way though, him and Vanessa constantly fought for Seeley's attention. Vanessa feared that if Seeley ever went back into his routine from before the 7 month stint in the army, he would realize Vanessa was using him to become a better journalist and send her packing. So she had to constantly gain control of his attention when it came to which people he was concentrating on. When he was concentrating on cases though, that was a good thing for her. He might leave a case file laying around so that she might be able to read it, or he would talk about the case and let extra things slip. This way, she was constantly gathering more and more information on the cases so she could send it back to her office in NY. Just a few months more and she could drop everything and go back to her life in NY, but with the most kickass story the journalism world would ever know.

What Vanessa didn't know though, was a certain conspiracist was watching her every move and tracking all her data from her laptop to her computer in NY. He would soon show this information to his wife, who would soon become Vanessa's biggest nightmare.

Oh, and a slimy banana seemed to fling itself right into her face at the exact moment she noticed that the kid was missing. 'What the hell' and 'what the crap am I going to do' seemed to float through her mind all at once. The last competent thought she had before setting into panic mode was, 'Woah.'

* * *

a/n: Oh and I just wanted to say, the first chapter is named 'The Hiding Place' and I mentioned the Nazi/Jew thing in here because the spot I described reminds me alot of the place described in the book The Hiding Place...only different..but they're both behind bookshelves! And The Hiding Place is a book which describes the life of a woman who was living in I think Holland at the time of the Holoucost. Hence the Nazi/Jew thing. No offense to either parties. Any Bones-loving Nazi or Jew is generally an awesome person in my opinion.

I hope this made sense and wasn't cheesy (I can't think right now so I dont know if it is) and wasn't inconsistent.

p.s. I do not own Bones. :| *sigh* It's probably for the better, I would have no freaking idea what to do or who to go to for, like anything. So I would cause complete and utter chaos. Which can be fun until some sort of an authoratative outside power or person comes in to make everything boring, average, and 'content' again. You can just imagine my bedroom after I've completely neglected it for about a week. lol neat freaks and mothers beware!


	3. Sneaky people and the Texan ways

Firstly I have to say THANK YOU! to everyone who has read this and liked it and to everyone who has reviewed and/or put this on story alert/favorites. 4 people helped me out with this chapter (or chappie). Im_just_peachy helped me out with the conversations, since she is both amazing at it and loves writing them. nothings0irreversible gave me a few ideas about Angela's schemes (she decided she likes the hobby of ruining anyone's life who gets in the way of B&B) and about how Parker acts around Vanessa. Chymom gave me tips regarding the safety of Parker (specifically for the moms out there). And an anonymous reviewer who went by the name of Lyndie suggested a Parker/Booth conversation.

Also, when I say 'approached' in the first paragraph, I mean started a conversation. Not walked up to. And this apartment is a different apartment from the usual one (its after the hiatus, I took a slight liberty being a fiction writer) and so this apartment has a different layout. It has 1 main bathroom off the hallway and then a verrrry small (like, toilet and sink) bathroom in the guest room.

P.S.- this is a K+ fic, but in this chapter I mention Angela doing something devious to Vanessa's femine products. I put bolded astricks (*****) around the part that mentions it if there are people who would rather skip over it.

* * *

At the Booth household, all was well. Booth had calmed down enough to breathe again and he, Vanessa, and Parker all went to the Diner. Parker was furious, but didn't say anything. He may have hated Vanessa, but he wouldn't hurt her feelings (minus sticking his tongue out at her whenever his dad wasn't looking) and he didn't want her to become angrier at him and therefore meaner. So he generally kept his mouth shut about such things. But the Royal Diner thing was the last straw, he had to say something about that! That's why he approached his dad later that night while Vanessa was taking her hour-long shower, followed by 30 minutes of blow drying and 15 more minutes of who-knows-what. Parker and Booth were sitting on the couch drinking milk and watching Sponge Bob when Parker asked the question that had been bugging him for the last hour.

"Hey dad?" Parker asked.

" Yeah bub?"

" Are you going to marry Vanessa?" To Parker's amusement, Booth nearly had milk come out of his nose.

"*choke* WHAT? *gag* Where did you get that idea? *cough cough*"

"Nowhere..I was just wondering." Parker said while bowing his head slightly.

" Bub, I'm not going to marry her." Booth said with absolute finality in his voice.

" Well then why is she living here?" Parker now sounded completely confused but a little more relieved.

" Well… she's my girlfriend, and she needed a place to stay when she came down here.. it just seemed the best, easiest thing to do. Why are you asking all these questions?"

" I just wanted to know.. are you ever going to marry anyone?" Parker's curiosity started to get the best of him.

" Depends."

" On what?"

" On if the person I want to marry wants to get married to me."

" Who do you want to marry?"

" Why are you all of the sudden asking all these questions?"

" Well.. Mom and Drew are getting married. Why don't you just ask the person to marry you?"

" Its not that simple. First we would need to date, and I don't think she wants to go on dates. So I just hang out with her a lot and get to know her and become closer to her without going on dates."

" That's weird. Do you love her?"

" Yeah, I do."

" Then why are you dating Vanessa? To make the girl you love jealous? Because then I think you should find someone else to make her jealous with." Just as Parker got done saying that, Vanessa walked into the room with wet hair. Apparently her highly expensive luxury hair salon brand blow-dryer was missing along with her vintage jewelry. She didn't seem too bothered by it though. But then Booth's shower water turned on. Once she heard it go on, she immediately turned to Parker with all sense of warmth gone from her eyes.

" Oh Parker, time for bed!" She said in a disturbing sing-song voice before roughly snatching the remote from his hand then grabbing his arm and dragging him to his room.

" But its only 9, Dad lets me stay up until at least 10:00! And then he always says a prayer with me, kisses my head and tucks me in! I wanna stay up so I can say goodnight to him!"

" Too bad, so sad. Say your prayer on your own you little brat. Now sleep!" Vanessa then shut the door in his face. He held back his tears as he turned on his Stitch nightlight (because he liked Stitch, NOT because he was afraid of the dark) and said the Lord's prayer before asking God to please help his friend Jake get rid of his stomach flu, for a puppy and for Vanessa to move back to New York. Then he climbed into bed and resigned himself to wait patiently for 11:30 when the adults might be close to going to bed and he could catch the public bus to the Jeffersonian. Dr. Bones always let him stay up really late, and Max let him do cool experiments.

"Hey, where's Parker?" Booth asked Vanessa when he came strolling out of his bedroom.

"Oh, poor thing, he was so tired that he fell asleep on the sofa so I moved him into his bed." Vanessa replied.

"Really? He didn't seem tired when I left him 20 minutes ago.."

"Yeah, he fell asleep about 5 minutes ago. SpongeBob must have lulled him to sleep."

"Oh okay, well I'll be right back, going to go check on him." Booth threw over his shoulder while walking to Parker's room. He wanted to see if Parker was still awake so that he could maybe ask him about the 'I think you should find someone else to make her jealous' comment. Plus, Parker never went to bed before at least 10:15 and he couldn't have been too tired from just school then the Jeffersonian. Sure enough, when Booth went into Parker's room he was wide awake sitting beside his nightlight and entertaining himself by coloring a picture of Hulk from one of his cartoon coloring books. But when Booth opened the door he startled Parker so he barely caught sight of Parker coloring before Parker jumped into his bed and laid down as if he was doing that the whole time. 'That was very weird,' Booth thought.

"Hey, Parks! You awake?" Booth said out loud. He watched as Parker lifted his head up as if to check his surroundings before he sat up and said, "Yeah Dad. Why?"

"Vanessa told me you were sleeping… anyways, what did you mean when you said, 'I think you should find someone else to make her jealous'?"

"Dad.. first, I wasn't sleeping, Vanessa told me it was bedtime. And second, I don't think I like her. I miss us hanging out with Dr. Bones!" At this, Booth looked around the hallway before stepping into the room and closing the door behind him and turning the bedroom light on.

Booth thought to himself 'Vanessa probably just didn't know what time I let him stay up till" before saying, "Parker, I like hanging out with Bones too. But now I'm dating Vanessa-"

"But whyy? She's mean and I don't like her and you said you wouldn't want to marry her! You also said you loved someone else."

"Yes but Vanessa is pretty and she flew all the way down here from NYC to be close to me. She kept me company while I was away from home as well. I am in love with someone else but, it's just complicated Parker. But you can't repeat anything from what we've said in these past two conversations okay? And please be nice to Vanessa while you're around each other, being mean is never a good thing. Now, do you want to go ahead and go to bed or stay up a bit later?"

"Ohhkayyy…can I stay up some more? And watch more cartoons with you?"

"Yeah. But I've had a long day at work so I'm not staying up too much later. Now come on, we have cartoons to watch!"

Parker got out of bed and ran out of his room dragging Booth behind him. When Vanessa saw them, she got up and informed Booth that she was going to bed. Then she said goodnight to them both and disappeared down the hall. Parker and Booth stayed up until about 11:10 before Booth felt like he was about to fall off the couch from drowsiness. He and Parker completed their nighttime routine of praying and saying goodnight, then Booth went to bed falling asleep almost immediately despite the closed bedroom door, box fan roaring and the music playing in his room that Vanessa insisted on sleeping with.

* * *

It was 11:29 and Parker Booth had just completed arranging pillows and a wig in his bed designed to look like himself, asleep. After making sure his bedroom door was closed he changed into some normal clothes that he could wear to the Jeffersonian and slipped on his tennis shoes. Opening his bedroom window, he made sure no one was around outside before slipping out onto the almost flat roof and then down the ladder to the ground. It wasn't too high off the ground because he was only in the second story floor and the roof made it even closer to the ground. Parker had also hit a few growth spurts during the 7 months his dad was gone so he could easily and quietly descend the ladder and then get back up and into his room undetected.

Parker descended the ladder after closing his window almost all the way (he left enough of a gap so that it wouldn't be obvious that the window was open but he could still easily open it from the outside). He then took off running toward the bus stop, the bus would be there any minute. He knew that he was being watched every night he did this, Dr. Bones had lots of FBI and cop friends. Parker was observant enough that he knew there was an undercover cop car with two cops on the corner of the street and an FBI agent who took the bus to go home every night. He also knew they were watching over him to make sure he was safe whenever he boarded the bus using the bus pass that Brennan got for him. He also knew his mom knew all about his trips to the Jeffersonian and that the only reason she let it happen was because of all the people watching over him. He was also pretty sure the bus driver made sure he was safe getting on and off the bus, he noticed that the bus didn't leave the Jeffersonian until Parker was inside the front doors.

When Parker finally got to the medico-legal lab (with a security guard following him who had a misconstrued idea that he was sneaky enough that Parker didn't know he was there), he briefly wondered where Angela was before spotting Max and Hodgins waving him up to the lounge. Tonight was the night they would make a small (hopefully) non-lethal stink bomb to set up in the Egyptology Department. They had been planning this revenge ever since Dr. Smith and Dr. O'Brian set off a paint bomb in the guys' bathroom. Contrary to popular belief, revenge was not sweet. It was stinky.

* * *

Meanwhile, Angela Montenegro was taking after her dad and using the seemingly useless Texan-badass things she had inherited from the man. Texan thing #1: picking apartment door locks. Kneeling outside of Booth's apartment door with a screwdriver, she had picked the lock in all of 10 seconds.

Texan thing #2: be as sneaky and scary as possible. She was wearing all black and no shoes, only socks and walking very lightly. She couldn't even hear her own breathing.

Texan thing #3: steal valuable stuff. Oh look, Vanessa's purse. Thinking to herself 'Hmmm.. what to do, what to do' while searching through it, Angela stole some cash and 'accidentally' ruined a few credit and debit cards before taking the whole purse and shoving it into the refrigerator. She may have also put a very fragile jar of cockroaches that she got from Hodgins' area of the lab in it, but she would never tell anyone whether she did or not. Especially Hodgins and Zack, those cockroaches were their favorite batch of un-killable extreme obstacle course racing bugs. Furthermore regarding Texan thing #3, Angela just so happened to stumble across Vanessa's laptop in which all information regarding Vanessa's work was stored. Angela easily figured out the password to the computer and then copied all of the information onto the zip drive she had in her small bag of tools. Which brings us to…

Texan thing #4: always bring a bag of tools. Angela had a mini backpack as her bag and her tools were; a notepad and pencil, one zip drive, one jar of bugs (as mentioned above), one syringe full of laxatives, *****one syringe full of a clear substance Hodgins had made that turns purple and becomes extremely smelly when it comes in contact with living tissue (such as human skin/tissue, external or internal)***,** mace, and Gorilla Glue. With these tools, Angela wreaked havoc upon anything in the possession of Vanessa. She found 2 boxes of some sort of diet bars in the pantry that definitely didn't belong to Booth, and injected laxative into all of the bars. She did this by opening the unopened box (the first box was open) from the bottom, injecting the bars straight through their wrappers but under the flap in the back, then using Gorilla Glue to re-close the box. Angela then moved into the main bathroom conveniently placed off the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. *****In the cabinet under the sink Angela found tampons. Using the same methods she used with the diet bars, she injected the tampons with the substance from the second syringe.***** The mace was just because she was alone and decided she couldn't be too careful, especially in the underground parking lot that Hodgins' car was parked in. And last but certainly not least, she used the Gorilla Glue to firmly fix to the floor Vanessa's shoes that were sitting by the front door.

After copying Vanessa's cell number onto the notepad, Angela stealthily got out of the apartment almost satisfied with her work. She decided she would search through the information she got off Vanessa's laptop once she got back to the lab. All that was left to do was submit Vanessa's cell phone number to several various mobile dating organizations and then she would be able to learn the secrets of Vanessa's computer.

* * *

a/n: idk if that was either extremely boring or highly entertaining, but it was pretty fun being creative like that and coming up with scemes and pranks! hehehe, I love Angela :) if I meant to write anything that was important here, I completely forgot what it was I was going to write. well I just thought of something, if anyone is worried about where I'm going with the stuff surrounded by astericks, then you can ask me about it and I'll tell you. questions, comments and suggestions are recieved warmly!


	4. Here Comes the Plague

FINALLY updating! Im_just_peachy and nothings0irreversible both helped me with this chapter. :) They're awesome! This chap is loooong! In my opinion, that is. Oh and whatever website I mentioned in here I completely made up. It sounds Russian though...

Oh and I'm now setting a time frame. The teams re-assembles in mid-December, Vanessa comes in early January, and the former chapters are anytime during January, Feburary, and March. This chapter is around late April, maybe early May. I also switch scenes alot in this chapter. And now that I have confused you all with the vagueness of that, here is the next chapter!

* * *

Vanessa had been bad. She may have slept with a few too many shady people in exchange for money and favors. She slept with her boss for a raise and less hours in the office, but now while sitting in the waiting room of the free clinic, it hit her like an 18-wheeler strapped to a few jets just how dearly she was paying.. As she was being brought into a treatment room for her STI test, she decided she needed to finish gathering her information so that she could return home. Just a little while longer…

* * *

Brennan was in limbo working on a Vietnam War soldier when the ringing of her cell phone brought her out of her thoughts. The caller id said it was Booth, however when she answered the call she was greeted by Parker.

"Brennan."  
"Hey Dr. Bones, this is Parker!"  
"Hey Parker, what are you doing with your dad's cell phone?"  
"Oh, we are at the ball park warming up for my baseball game. Dad went to the bathroom and I decided I wanted to invite you to my game, so I found his phone in his bag and found your number! So Dr. Brennan, can you come to my baseball game? Please!"  
"Well I was working on a case from limbo but my work day is technically over, are you sure your dad wouldn't mind?"  
"Oh he wouldn't mind! Vanessa's at work and she never comes to my games anyway, but my mom couldn't make it because something went wrong at work and she had to help fix it. I don't have anyone on the stands for me, so I'm sure he won't mind if I invite you! Daddy cheers for me, but he's the coach so he has to cheer for all of the team. Please please please please come! The game starts in 45 minutes and we're at the ballpark beside my school. Will you come?"  
"Sure, as long as your dad doesn't mind…plus you need someone to cheer for you and I would be happy to. I'll be there in about 30 minutes okay?"  
"Okay Dr. Bones, thank you! I got to go, bye!" Then Parker hung up. Brennan shrugged out of her lab coat then grabbed her purse and car keys before leaving the Jeffersonian. That was the first time in a while that she had left the Jeffersonian at 5:00. Brennan, true to her word, arrived at the ballpark about 30 minutes later. When Booth saw her, he waved her over from inside the field.  
"Hey Bones, what are you doing here?"  
"Hey, Parker called me off of your phone and insisted on me coming to his game. I hope that isn't a problem?"  
"No of course not! It's probably actually better, Rebecca couldn't come today and Parker seemed a bit upset about it. I'm glad you could come!"  
"Thanks. But that man over there seems pretty adamant about you turning around, I think he needs to talk to you. I'll just go sit down now."  
"Okay, yeah, but Bones, make sure you sit on the bleachers over here, not over there. I don't want you getting caught among the other team, they might rip you to pieces. The game is about to start, I'll catch you later!" Booth then ran over to the man who seemed ready to throw a bat at Booth to get his attention. Brennan did as Booth told her and sat on the more occupied bleachers with the tons of families and kids running around. Brennan waved at Parker just before he ran off into the field with the rest of his team.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Jeffersonian, Angela was sorting through the information from Vanessa's laptop. Brennan had finally left the Jeffersonian and now it was just Angela, Hodgins and Cam in the lab. Zack ran off to another part of the Jeffersonian to work on some project he was obsessed with. He only told Jack what it was though, and Jack wouldn't tell anyone what they were creating. Angela didn't really care what it was as long as Zack was easily entertaining himself, and Cam really didn't want to know.

First, Angela went to the home page of internet explorer, which was Google. The search history had been deleted so there was nothing interesting or useful there. Next, Angela went to the favorites bar to go through the recent visited websites. There were a few news websites, Google, a few illegal music websites, some Chinese websites that were probably either for the black market or pirated entertainment, and a website named Sarkendia. Angela's interest peaked at the last one so she decided to click on it, just to get an eye-full of male models in speedos wearing animal ears (such as cat ears, bunny ears, dog ears) with makeup designed to correspond to the animal ears. The men may have been muscular and perhaps even hot (if it weren't for their fashion statements) but this fetish was just too strange for the trio (especially Hodgins who had nearly screamed while firmly covering his eyes then in an attempt to get away had fallen over some furniture, knocking himself out). Angela quickly clicked out of that, and moved onto Vanessa's email. There were several messages sent to '.com', Vanessa's work email located in NYC. Her laptop email was '.com', why would she be sending email to her computer in NYC? She transferred to 'My Fox DC' when she moved down here, so naturally her work email would change. Angela clicked on the messages just to have Cam freak out and nearly call her cop friends while becoming angry and lightheaded at the same time. Hodgins, on the other hand, was about to start jumping up and down with excitement and he would have texted all of his conspiracy friends en masse if Angela hadn't seen it coming and taken his phone away. These emails were all filled with confidential information on cases and Vanessa was obviously planning on sharing it with the whole world. Its funny how most illegal things are selfish, she was planning on illegally exploiting dozens of people for an award. There was information on suspects who turned out not to be killers, different groups that were innocent but very much a part of the cases, information on family members, and tons of information on the processes of solving the cases. If this information got out, several people could be in a lot of danger and criminals-to-be would know the game plans of the team's solving processes. And the worst part of all of it was the team couldn't tell the police or authorities because of the means by which Angela got the information from the laptop. Telling your friend and co-worker that you snuck into his apartment and went through his girlfriend's stuff isn't exactly the best thing to do, especially if he found out through the authorities. However, Hodgins had begun to form a plan. He ran off to find Zack and hurry up his project while making a call on the phone that he retained from Angela after he lost the 'I'm about to pee myself' look and a promise of keeping the information leak a secret. While Jack was gone, Angela discovered more emails regarding Vanessa's sex life. Angela grinned like Hodgins had before and printed off all the emails of interest.

* * *

Back at the free clinic, Vanessa was in lighter moods. She found out she didn't have any STI's but rather she was highly allergic to tampons, nearly resulting in Toxic Shock Syndrome. The doctor just had to hear Vanessa's symptoms before telling her she was allergic and should both discontinue the use of tampons permanently and become celibate for a year. The only reason Vanessa wasn't completely happy was because of the latter. She had to come up with a good lie for why she wouldn't give anyone 'favors'. She didn't need to worry about Seeley though, he had refused all her advances with the excuse of "I'll only do that if we get married." Apparently his Catholicism or morals kept him from it. But her 'boyfriend' aside, she was going to reward herself for being infection-free. He was currently at his son's baseball game so she would sneak into the Jeffersonian with a camera, a tape recorder, and an extra-large purse. She heard that there was a room called 'limbo' that was filled with over 10,000 sets of skeletons. That could make an interesting comment in the story. Something like 'and this picture showing the room in which over 10,000 once-living human beings are stored in drawers…'. It couldn't be that hard to sneak past a bunch of science geeks and old, fat security guards. When she finally got to the Jeffersonian, she slipped on a pair of glasses and tucked her shirt in so that maybe she would blend in. Unbeknownst to her, 4 pairs of eyes were watching her every move like predators watching prey. They knew why she was there, and they had an extermination plan. As she walked into the medico-legal lab for Forensic Anthropology, Angela was immediately trailing right behind her. Angela knew Zack and Hodgins were both in the air vent and likely fighting while simultaneously being productive, but they would need more time to set the project up and close a few other air vents. Angela tapped Vanessa on the shoulder while desperately trying to think of something to say.  
"Hello," Vanessa answered slightly uneasily.  
"Hi, I was just wondering if you've seen a man around here with blue eyes, curly blondish hair, wearing a blue lab coat and probably carrying around a tube or Petri dish of something?" Angela said while watching Vanessa visibly relax.  
"Umm, I think I saw someone like that back there," Angela looked in the direction that Vanessa pointed (which just so happened to be in the opposite direction Vanessa was traveling in). Angela thanked Vanessa in the longest way possible then pretended to walk in the direction Vanessa pointed. Angela took a few seconds to slip her shoes off before quickly and silently trailing behind Vanessa again while praying Vanessa didn't see her and that Hodgins and Zack were done. As Vanessa was walking by a storage closet, Zack walked out of it causing the door to smack Vanessa right in the face. Zack pretended to be completely embarrassed about hitting her and after saying sorry, he mentioned how there were some Kleenex tissues in the closet that would help with her now bleeding lip. As Zack was holding open the door for her while she was yelling at him, Angela came up behind them and pushed Vanessa into the completely vacant, soundproof room (Vanessa didn't notice that nothing was in there due to her yelling at Zack) while slipping Vanessa's purse from her arm. Zack then quickly closed the seal-able door and locked it while Angela sat down with the purse and began to look through it. All she found was a very nice camera that she would keep and a reporter-style tape recorder that she 'accidentally' crushed, but nothing else. While Angela was contemplating the strangeness of the empty purse, Hodgins came up to Angela and Zack dressed as a janitor.

* * *

At the ballpark, Parker's team was winning 24 to 1. It was over halfway through the game and everyone knew that they would win. Brennan was sitting silently on the corner of the bleachers occasionally giving Parker a thumbs-up or a smile when she suddenly found Booth sitting beside her.

"Hey Booth, what are you doing out of the field?" Brennan asked curiously.  
"Well since we're about to win, I figured I would keep you company during the last inning."  
"Oh, thank you. Well Parker seems to be doing very well."  
"Yeah, he loves baseball. He seems pretty happy that you could come, he really loves you."  
"Oh well he's a good kid. I love him too. I guess he was very happy when he found out you were coming home early?"  
After Booth recovered from his momentary shock at her admission of loving Parker, he replied, "Oh yeah he was really happy, I'm pretty sure he told anyone he came within 10 feet of that I was coming home. When I got back, Rebecca let me have him from the first Friday after we had finished our first case back to the Sunday night the next week. But then Vanessa came.."  
"Yeah.. speaking of her, where is she?"  
"She's at work. She was able to get a raise by working a few extra hours. I think it was a mistake bringing her here."  
"What, to Parkers baseball game?"  
"No, to DC. I know Rebecca doesn't like her at all, which is rare for her to voice her opinions on my love life at all. Parker doesn't like her either and his opinion on the people I spend a lot of time with is important to me. I know the squint squad doesn't like her and all that's left is you. What is your opinion on her?"  
"I've never really met her for myself, I don't feel like I am in a position to judge her. But I think you should trust Parker's judgment, younger kids like him tend to be more honest."  
"Thanks Bones. Your opinion means a lot to me." Just then, Parker ran up yelling 'Dr. Bones!' and then catapulted himself onto her in a giant hug. He was excitedly chattering "Dr. Bones, didya see us? We won the game! It was 30 to 1, it was awesome! Hey Dad, can we all go to the diner? Please!"  
"It's fine with me, but you have to ask Bones if she wants to go."  
"Dr. Bones, will you? Do you want to?"  
"Sure Parker, that would be fun!" But Parker didn't hear anything after the word sure, he was already dragging Booth and Brennan to Booth's car.

* * *

Back at the Jeffersonian, the squints were putting Vanessa through hell. While Angela was trailing her, Zack and Hodgins were in the air vent setting up Zack's new invention. It was a type of machine that kept live bugs in one container and bug poison in another container. The type of bugs in it at this moment were; 10 common locusts, 3 pregnant wolf spiders, 50 flies, 30 mosquitoes, and about 250 gnats. Hodgins had tons of each of them shipped in for experimenting; he was testing if a large amount of virus that was commonly sprayed on organic plants would kill a large number of the bugs while being non-lethal to humans. For his human tester, he used O'Brian from Egyptology. As far as O'Brian knew, it was a choice of standing in a box for Hodgins or waking up in the Sahara with a full body tatoo. O'Brian didn't doubt for a second that Hodgins knew people who could do that. The 2 minute and 49 second experiment resulted in a whole bunch of dead bugs and one terrified but very much unharmed (save a few spider and mosquito bites) O'Brian. In the other canister of the machine, the bug poison of choice was the virus. The plan was to keep Vanessa in there with the bugs for 1 minute and 30 seconds, which she might soon find will be the worst 1 and a half minutes of her life. Then the timer on the machine was programmed to release the virus for exactly 1 minute before the machine would suck all of the air back into it and through a filter designed to be able to catch the virus. From outside the room, the only sign of Vanessa's ordeal would be the door slightly wiggling. After the due time, Hodgins would open the storage as the janitor claiming to have heard Vanessa's struggles. He would then clean up the mess and hopefully Vanessa would have run screaming from the building.

* * *

Booth was extremely happy that Brennan had agreed to come to the diner with him and Parker. He really owed his son for inviting her to all of this. They were now all sitting at the diner happily talking and eating. Parker was doing most of the talking, however. All Booth could think was 'I wish I hadn't brought Vanessa to DC, I wish I never met her, I'm an idiot, how do I fix this..' but Parker was putting a smile on both Brennan and Booth's faces, so he was momentarily very happy.

* * *

After Angela and Hodgins walked in opposite directions down the hall a bit to keep watch (Cam was guarding the medico-legal doors to make sure no one else reporter-related came in), Zack then pressed the button on the remote control that would release the swarms of bugs. The door starting shaking violently and if everything was perfectly silent, one might be able to hear Vanessa cursing. After 1 and a half minutes, Zack pushed the button that released the virus. To Hodgins relief, the door continued to shake. He had been worried that since Vanessa was a girl and had a smaller body weight and mass than O'Brian that the virus might affect her differently. He of course didn't tell anyone of his worries. After 1 minute, Zack pushed the last button on his remote that would filter the virus out of the air. After another 2 minutes, Zack estimated most or all of the virus had been filtered out. It was now time for Hodgins to unlock the door to discover a trapped reporter. Angela and Zack hid behind the beams in the wall on the side of the door that was closer to limbo and opposite the exit. If Vanessa still insisted on going to limbo, Angela would tackle her then Zack would escort her out of the building. As Hodgins put the key into the lock while trying to force his face to remain perplexed, all 4 of them (Cam was waiting at the other end of the hallway, closest to the exit) held their breath. None of them knew for sure what really happened in there, and Zack and Hodgins were afraid that live bugs would come flooding out of the closet and that Cam would kill them. Thankfully, the only thing that came out of that closet was a hysterical Vanessa who ran straight by Hodgins (who was desperately trying not to laugh) for the exit while screaming and flapping her arms wildly. Angela even got it on her phone's video camera and fully planned upon putting it on Youtube.

* * *

Parker, Booth and Brennan had finished eating and were now just talking some more when all of the sudden they all heard the squeal of car tires outside, causing everyone in the diner to turn their heads so they could try and figure out what happened. To the trio's horror, Vanessa was storming out of her car that she stopped in the middle of the road. She was now marching inside, looking a little worse for wear, straight to them. Parker was now terrified and ducked under the table frantically trying to pull Brennan under with him. She wasn't going to hide though, she was an adult. Who could break Vanessa's limbs if she felt threatened enough. Vanessa was now about 10 feet away from the table when she starting screaming nonsense like 'I know what you did to me, your going to pay you b***!' and then broke out into a run and tried to tackle one shocked Brennan, but missing her by a foot due to Vanessa hitting the table and bouncing off of it. Booth was now up and restraining Vanessa from grabbing Brennan's hair and dragging her across the floor by it. Booth yelled to Brennan to please take Parker somewhere with her for a while so that he could get Vanessa to calm down (sedatives anyone?) and figure out why she was so lucid. He tossed her his car keys before dragging Vanessa out the door and pushing her into the back of her car. Parker and Brennan watched Vanessa's angry face still shouting inside the car as Booth drove away. Brennan had no idea what just happened, but she knew where she needed to go. The Jeffersonian.


	5. Movie Quotes Unleashed

a/n: Im_just_peachy and nothings0irreversible helped me with the last scene in this :) I'm just going to apologize beforehand for it, I got really bored and decided to have some fun (mainly with the last scene) and nothings0irreversible gave me all these awesome movie quotes...I can't resist when people dangle stuff like that infront of me! Haha so yeah, this chapter is insane and stuff :) I like it.

Oh and Chymom asked me a bunch of questions that made me contemplate this chapter and even start on it in the first place. Oh and thanks to anyone who is reading this and likes it and reviews and..stuff!

Disclaimer: HAH I'm not even old enough to own Bones. Which brings me to my next point, I start school Wednesday so I'm trying to write quickly and finish it but who knows what will happen.

* * *

Driving to his apartment with an insane Vanessa in the backseat, Booth was absolutely furious. He could not believe that Vanessa openly attacked Bones in front of him, the whole diner, _and _Parker like that. The woman in question was mumbling rubbish to herself while scratching her arms furiously while Booth tried desperately to drive and NOT strangle the woman whom everyone, himself included, hated. It was only a 20 minute drive from the Diner to his apartment, but it felt as if an eternity went by before he finally got her up to his apartment and tried to question her in a somewhat calm-ish manner.

"What the HELL were you thinking back there? You don't just go around attacking people who have done you no harm! You're lucky I'm not arresting you for that crap."

Vanessa looked up at him with cold eyes before yelling, "She locked me in a closet with a freaking Egyptian PLAGUE! She deserves to be hurt!"

"Vanessa, that's impossible. I don't think she's capable of creating all the plagues, plus she was with me and Parker most of the evening. Where would she have even found a closet to lock you in, your schedule doesn't meet with hers at all! You work waaaay downtown, she works almost on the opposite side of the city! Where were you when you got 'locked in a closet with an Egyptian plague'?"

"That doesn't matter, what matters is-"

"Uh, YEAH it matters! Your accusing my partner of trapping you inside a small space with who-knows-what, now tell me where you were!"

"I was her lab, which just further proves that she was the one who locked me in there! She pushed me in right after some eejit busted my lip with the door!"

"Why the hell were you at the Jeffersonian, you have no business being there. Especially in the lab, that place is off-limits to all on-duty reporters, and since you just got off work about 10 minutes ago, why did your boss want you there?"

"Sheesh, I didn't know I wasn't allowed up there. The security guards said nothing about it."

"Stop dodging my questions, why were you there? And you should know full well where you are and are not allowed, you've been a field reporter for 7 years now. They make sure you know where you can and cannot go."

"I was there for an interview. I had a meeting with someone up there, and I was allowed. But then I was attacked and abducted then tortured so whatever."

"Oh, you had an appointment now? With who?"

"I don't know, the artist chick."

"You don't know who your interview was with? You _think _it was the 'artist chick'. Angela Montenegro- er Hodgins?"

"No, someone else up there. You don't know her."

"Oh really, because last time I checked, there was only 1 artist up there. And I happen to know her."

"Oh, shut up. You don't know everything."

"No, no I don't know everything. But I think I know what happened here. You went up to the lab to try and get a special something from the lab you aren't allowed in, and you failed miserably. So you got angry and on your way here you saw Bones and decided it was a fantastic idea to try and hurt her. You didn't even see me there, but either way you failed at attacking her too. You're a psychopath, you know that? Leave. Go back to New York. Your crazy and not worth my time."

"Whatever, it's not like I wasn't getting ready to leave you anyway. Your boring and stupid and no fun what-so-ever. I'll be out of this dump in 15 minutes."

"Oh. Less than 15 minutes actually, I'll help you. The faster the merrier."

* * *

Back at the Jeffersonian, Brennan was carrying Parker through the lab to her dad's station. While she was gone, he had gotten a full-time job touring both kids and adults through certain sections of the museum as well as teaching his science class weekly. Parker had attended the class every week while the team was disassembled and had grown quite fond of Max. Parker seemed exhausted and Brennan really needed to talk to the rest of her team to see what was going on, and that conversation probably wouldn't be one that Parker needed to hear. Max agreed to watch over and entertain Parker while Brennan went in search of her friends. She found Cam, Zack, and Angela in the latter's office. Brennan explained to them what had happened in the Diner which just served to further rile up Cam, who had also had her cell confiscated by Angela. They didn't need an entire army of cops questioning Angela about how she came across the information she downloaded. Angela then showed Brennan what she had found on Vanessa's laptop (the confidential information stuff, not the fetish or illegal music stuff) and filled Brennan in on why Vanessa was probably acting like a lunatic. Even Zack was fighting to hold his laughter in while Angela gave a rough (rough meaning extremely vague and downplayed) account of their activities of the last hour or so. That was when Hodgins marched in, looking like an extremely pleased janitor. Brennan could only imagine what they had really been up to at this sight. Apparently, Hodgins' couldn't hold his excitement in any longer because words started pouring from his mouth when he saw all the 'what-the-heck-did-you-get-into' looks.

"OKAY! So I called my computer people in Chicago that no one's supposed to know about – so don't tell anyone – and they confirmed that there is a completely legal and fool-proof way to still retain the information from the emails. So here it is; they said that due to the more private, confidential nature of some of my work, they can and have been conducting full scans through the whole internet universe looking for anything that stands out as a red flag. They've been doing very general scans – such as my name and the name of all my co-workers – but nothing big had really stood out to them. But it turns out, when they search in a more detailed manner in which they include names of suspects, witnesses, etc, then Vanessa's emails immediately come to the foreground and pop up as huge red flags. They're doing other extremely detailed searches, but so far these emails are the only thing in the entire public internet that are questionable. If we destroy the flash drive, they can copy the emails straight from the internet onto a CD that they can get to me within the hour. Then we can give it to the authorities, namely Booth, and they can take it from there. I already gave my people the o.k. to copy it, now all we need to do is destroy the flash drive."

Zack suddenly got the 'lightbulb' look and shot up saying, "Oh! I can destroy it! A chemist in the lab and I have been working on a chemical (*Cam glaring, Brennan and Hodgins wincing*) that can melt man-made products and metal. No one would ever know that the flash drive existed!"

Hodgins said in reply to this, "It's so crazy, it just might work!" Wearily, Angela allowed Zack to have the flash drive. Cam followed Zack so that she could supervise him since he was no longer allowed alone with raw chemicals. Brennan sat down contemplating how she would tell Booth all of this. She hoped that maybe it wouldn't hurt him.

* * *

After kicking Vanessa out for good, Booth felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 10 minutes after he saw her for the last time, he decided to call Brennan to make sure that she and Parker were okay.

"Hey Booth."

"Bones! Are you and Parker okay, where are y'all?"

"Rebecca came and got Parker a few minutes ago, I'm at the Jeffersonian. Are you with Vanessa?"

"No, I broke up with her. I hope I never see her again."

"Oh, well you need to come over here right now! There's something really important that we have to show you. How soon can you get here?"

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Okay, see you then. Bye."

Then Brennan hung up. As he started his car, Booth wondered what else he would have to find out that night. 1 hour later, Booth was furiously pacing in Angela's office. Hodgins' people had copied all the information onto the CD and had it flown via small, fast jet plane to Hodgins' mini runway on his estate. The CD was then flown by helicopter to the Jeffersonian, where the squints and Angela promptly showed it to Booth. Hence the aforementioned furious pacing. They needed to find Vanessa Smith ASAP. Booth put out a BOLO on her, but that might take forever to come through. Finally, Hodgins spoke up.

"Okay, I might know where she is."

Booth immediately stopped pacing and turned to Hodgins. "What? How?"

"Well…when my people do general searches, small red flags always pop up. Magazine articles, fan's email, newspaper clippings, etc. When anything shows up, my people always send me a list of people who have things popping up. Vanessa's name showed up a few times, and I figured I could never be too careful, so I had that Noel Liftin dude follow her around on occasion. After a few weeks, it was obvious that she has a pattern that never changes. Anytime Vanessa wasn't at work, at your house, or somewhere screwing someone, she was at that little coffee café near the park. How much do you wanna bet that she's there right now?"

"Okay Hodgins, first thing, if I ever find out that you've hired someone to stalk me or Parker I will shoot you. Second, thanks man. Bones, you and me are gonna head over to that café, okay? And Angela, will you please take everything on that CD and print it off multiple times while we're gone? The FBI is going to want a copy, as well as the Jeffersonian and perhaps one extra just in case."

As everyone chorused their 'yeahs' and 'okays', Booth led Brennan to his SUV with his hand on the small of her back. Even when he and Vanessa started dating, he never stopped doing that.

* * *

At the café, Vanessa watched them enter. She tried to slip away quietly, but apparently they were looking for her. As they cornered her in between two couches and started questioning her, she mumbled to herself, "We've got company…"

"Woah, where do you think your going?" Brennan said, trying to be cop-like. Angela had made her watch a few detective films over the last few months.

"I'm going to go find a hotel for the night since my boyfriend kicked me out," Vanessa said in a venomous, almost sarcastic way. "It's a free country; I can leave a café when I choose to."

"Not so fast Vanessa. We found the emails you've been sending to your New York email address, now explain how you got that secret information and what you're planning to do with it," Booth said.

As Vanessa dropped her computer bag, she started to say, "Well, it's like this-" before she proceeded to perform S.I.N.G. from the Miss Congeniality movie on Booth. In 4 quick moves, Booth was laying on the floor in a very awkward fetal position, his knees drawn up to his chest and legs closed tightly while holding his nose with his right hand and his foot with his left. Vanessa didn't even need him to be behind her before she stomped on his foot, punched him in the nose and solar plexus, then kneed him in the groin. Brennan assessed the situation for about .5 milliseconds (cause she's a ninja by instinct) before attacking Vanessa. She tried kicking Vanessa, but the chick's reflexes caused her to jump back just out of the way of Brennan's leg. Vanessa then tried to tackle Brennan, but Brennan just held her fist out and broke Vanessa's nose on her way over to Brennan. While Booth was on the ground in the awkward fetal position moaning to himself, " why does every girl I know have to know some sort of crazy kung-fu moovessss…", Brennan grabbed his handcuffs and (using her 'vast' knowledge of cop sayings) said, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime." While Booth used his left hand to facepalm and think 'oh great', Brennan tried to cuff Vanessa, who had other plans. Vanessa somehow made Brennan slip up and during this nanosecond of vulnerability, Vanessa cuffed one end of the cuffs to Brennan's right wrist. Brennan vaguely thought to herself, "Houston, we have a problem" (those films Angela made her watch coming out again) while she and Vanessa both had hold of each others' shoulders and were now completely destroying anything within 10 feet of them. Vanessa punched Brennan in the stomach causing Brennan to slightly double over, and Vanessa used Brennan's involuntary downward motion to push her down onto Booth. Vanessa then quickly secured the other cuff around Booth's ankle before grabbing her bag and running like hell out of there screaming "SO LONG SUCKAAAAS". Brennan stood up and attempted to drag Booth along with her, but this action took the already stunned Booth by surprise and he yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *dramatically* before grabbing the nearest thing (the sofa), making Brennan pull back and land on Booth's legs. While Brennan desperately tried to find the keys to Booth's handcuffs, Booth just laid perfectly still, moaning to himself and wishing that he would pass out. On the bright side, no one else got hurt. They all escaped the room in terror when the 'two vicious fighter chicks got into it', imagining that at any second the women would start screaming "PREPARE TO DIE!" and both pull out some sort of large concealed Russian mobster machine guns. The last thing that Booth processed seeing before he actually did pass out from hitting his head on the floor multiple times was Brennan freeing herself and running after Vanessa's cab along with the owner of the café (a Japanese man) who was screaming "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" while wielding some sort of Samurai sword. Apparently he didn't like Vanessa either.

* * *

a/n: Oh and btw, when I say Egyptian plague, I mean the one from the Bible. :D lol soooo that last part was pretty cheesy-ish but idk, I want to keep it :)


	6. When Midgets Attack

heyyy so im posting this really really quickly b/c my friend is going to be here any minute to pick me up and drive me to a party. and the last chap is written, but its with my friends because i think i want to add to it.

also, im_just_peachy and nothings0irreversible are still amazing people who put up with me daily and read over this to make sure i havent fallen off the wagon with it. i didnt have time to read over it sooo bon apetit

* * *

After Vanessa ran from the café and got into her cab, she went to her office. She had bought a plane ticket that would take her to New York City at 4 AM the next morning, so she would pick up the bags and news report she printed off that she dropped off at her office and wait the remaining hours for boarding at the airport. She hoped that she would be able to be on the news reporting everything she found out as soon as possible.

Back at the lab, Booth had finally woken up and retrieved Brennan and were now discussing what to do next with Cam, Hodgins, Zack and Angela. Cam was currently whispering something to Hodgins while Brennan was speaking.

"We should just give all the information to the FBI. They can put out a warrant for her and she'll get caught. So Booth, you and I should drive over there with one of the bundles that Angela printed off. It's pretty much our only option."

"Yeah Bones, let's go." Booth wearily replied.

After Booth and Brennan left, Cam stepped out to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom however, she called every contact she had ever made in NYC with the phone she stole back while Angela was printing stuff off. Cam knew that Vanessa eventually had to get back to New York, so she wanted to make sure that when she did get there that she would be apprehended. Among her contacts, she had medical doctors, cops, people from different agencies, and a cop friend whom she knew to be an associate of a mafia. That particular mafia wasn't the extremely murderous type, just the type who owned a few illegal gambling places and may kill a few enemies from other mobs from time to time. They also had a deal with the cops, they wouldn't be arrested as long as they did nothing more than gambling and helped the cops out on occasion. It was a small mafia with only about 15 families and it was made up almost entirely of midgets. It was called the Mongoli Midget Mafia (the MMM), and Cam's friend became a known associate of them when someone was trying to kill them all off. The only reason she called the friend was because in Vanessa's reports, there was a small section about them from when one of the midget wrestlers was part of one of their families. Cam's mafia associate would notify the mafia boss of the potential leak in information and warn them to keep their eyes open for her. It would be assured that since that particular mafia would only kill enemies from other mafias that Vanessa would be in no serious danger.

When Cam came out of the bathroom, Angela and Hodgins were nowhere to be found. Cam rolled her eyes and hoped that this time, no one (security guards and herself included) would catch them doing whatever they were doing.

* * *

Angela and Hodgins were in a closet. Angela was on the floor while Hodgins was pressed up against the door. What were they doing, you ask? Angela was hacking into Vanessa's computer and laptop trying to erase all the data on it and Hodgins was listening for signals of someone entering the closet. Angela really hoped that Vanessa hadn't already printed off the information and Hodgins really hoped that no one would notice they were missing and think the worst or walk in on them and find out what they really were doing. Why did they have to choose the one closet without a lock?

* * *

Brennan and Booth were likewise in a closet. Only this time it was for completely different reasons then Angela and Hodgins. After they dropped the file off at the FBI building, they went over to Vanessa's DC office to try and find any sign to her whereabouts. While they were there, they ran into Vanessa's angry boss who immediately recognized Booth as Vanessa's (ex)boyfriend and decided that he didn't like Booth because he was basically the reason that Vanessa was leaving. So he came up behind Booth and Brennan and pushed them into the nearest open, automatic-lock-from-the-outside closet; which just so happened to be conveniently placed about 2 feet from where Brennan and Booth were at during the time of their attack. So now Booth was banging on the door threatening to shoot everything and everyone while Brennan was climbing shelves trying to get a cell signal so that she could call someone to come let them out. When she finally did get a signal, she first called Angela whose phone was off. Then, she called Hodgins who didn't answer. She couldn't call Zack since it was basically pointless considering he couldn't drive or pick a lock and she couldn't call Booth for blaringly obvious reasons, so she then called Cam who FINALLY picked up. But then, Brennan fell off the shelves. Miraculously, the phone was still intact and hadn't dropped the call so Brennan was able to explain her and Booth's predicament to Cam, who was now stifling her laughs. Brennan could not even imagine what was so hilarious about being locked in a closet. That was when Booth grabbed the phone and loudly insisted on whoever was on the other side of that call to come and get him and Brennan out that instant before snapping the phone shut, sliding Brennan to the far side of the room and shooting the door. The bullet barely went half an inch through the non-wooden door before stopping completely. "Stupid door," Booth muttered to himself before plopping down on the floor beside Brennan. "Sooo…what's up Bones?" Brennan just stared at him with a what-do-you-_think_-is-up look that Booth couldn't think of a reply to other than, "….Right."

* * *

Vanessa had stopped by her office and was now asleep in the terminal of the airport. While she was sleeping, a homeless person stole all of her money and credit cards. When she woke up at 3:50 almost late for boarding, she decided she could worry about it later and ran to catch her flight. Too bad she wasn't in time canceling her cards to stop the man from completely maxing them out. She really hoped she would make it big time with this report. She decided she would just forget all about her bad karma and re-rent her apartment, declare her office hers again, and turn in her report to her superiors. 9 hours later, she was in her boss' office discussing how she would be on the news the next morning giving the world a preview of her report. Life was good.

The next morning, Vanessa was in front of a camera giving a small beforehand speech on her report.

"Hello, my name is Vanessa Smith and for the last 4 months I've been collecting behind-the-scenes information on one of the top crime solving teams in the world. Later, I will tell you all about how they solve their cases, who all they have to interrogate to get to the truth, and very interesting 3rd party groups they have to deal with such as homeland security, dating sites, wedding stores, and *dramatic pause* the Mongoli Midget Mafia? All this and more coming right to you later on Fox New York!"

"And… off air. Vanessa, that was great, now head over to hair and makeup for your big debut!" said some producer dude. As Vanessa went over to her office to get some extra notes, she never noticed the little pitter-patter of several pairs of feet following her until it was too late. The next thing she knew, a midget wielding a bat who was on top of another midget's shoulders had knocked her out. More midgets silently ran up, took the papers that were her report, divided them up amongst themselves and shredded it while a few more dragged her out to their truck where an average sized man picked her up, put her in the F-450 truck bed, climbed into the drivers seat while all of the other people got in and then drove off. Two of Vanessa's assistants watched the whole thing, but they hated her and swore to each other that they would never tell a soul. That was the last time anyone other than Vanessa's midget prison guards and her primordial dwarfism mobster jail cell neighbors saw or heard of her. The jail cell was 5 ft wide by 5 feet long, and about 6 feet tall. If Vanessa had ever gotten out of there, she might say that she had learned a lesson about stealing confidential information and taking advantage of people. But she didn't, so no need to tell anyone that. She also never understood why any of the other gang people never talked to her. She figured it was a mafia thing; in reality they thought her voice was annoying and figured that if they didn't talk to her, she wouldn't try to talk.

She died in that jail cell a year after being placed there; a cat got into her jail cell and when she tried to get it away, it took a disliking to her and scratched her neck which resulted in her jugular vein being punctured. That cat was from then on treated with the utmost respect and was never angered again.

* * *

Is it too late to say WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. ? oh well, im sure yall didnt mind. tell me if there are mistakes in here though, cuz then I'll repost it and make it better...etc.. kay, gtg.


	7. The End

This is the last chapter I think. At least I planned on it being the last and so far that's how it's going. I start school tomorrow *sob* so I probably won't have time to write. BIG THANK YOUS to Im_just_peachy and nothings0irreversible for helping me out (especially with this chapter) and anyone else who has read all this and liked it.

Disclaimer: Bones n'est pas a mon. Which I hope means; Bones is not for me.

* * *

It was about a month after Vanessa disappeared off the face of the planet. No one knew where she went (although there were rumours of her being kidnapped. Pfft right, like someone would want to kidnap _her_?) , but the world seemed just that much more peaceful.

So that extra peacefulness was one of the reasons why Brennan was outside, away from work, drinking some coffee on one of the most beautiful mornings she could remember. Sitting on a bench staring at the water, she wasn't surprised when she noticed someone sit next to her.

* * *

It was a month after Vanessa disappeared, and exactly 1 year after Brennan and Booth had to say goodbye at the airport. Which was exactly why Booth was also outside, getting a coffee from the coffee cart at the mall. He wasn't surprised when he turned around to see Brennan sitting at their bench beside the reflecting pool. So he snuck around behind her without her noticing and sat down beside her.

Smiling when she turned around to see him, he said, "Hey Bones, nice day huh?"

"Yes, it's very beautiful. I even took off of work because of it."

"*GASP* THE Temperance Brennan took off work?" he said, mocking shock. Then he nudged her with his elbow and said, "I bet you took off for a different reason. Am I right, Bones?"

"Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. Who knows." At this point they were both laughing. "So, did you take off of work too?"

"Yeah. Cause you know what day it is, Bones."

"Yeah, I know. And you remember what we agreed upon around that time?"

"Changes, right? That we wouldn't stay the same, that coming back from our trips our relationship would be different." Booth said while looking into Brennan's eyes with her looking right back at his.

"Right. But my question is; how will we be different?"

"Well I guess we will just have to find out," he said as he stood up from the bench and held his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her up off the bench, but didn't let go of her hand. They left the serene reflecting pool that way, but the reflecting pool didn't remain serene. 5 minutes later, the Japanese man from the café was seen streaking along the reflecting pool with his Samurai sword yelling, "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"

* * *

Got to go, bedtime :(


End file.
